life

learn sadness from happiness

learn kindness from cruelty

learn wealthy from poverty

learn dying from living

that is life and that is how we roll 

;)

so last night i had a chit chat with ema.
i missed her so much :'(
mostly we talked about how life treating us now
everybody is growing up and life seems so serious now
and we still are lost -.-
 well,last night we talked about the past. reminiscing it
the glorious day when in faris petra :'b
and the choices that we had made that we regret


and then Nabila message me about a choice that she have to make
well Bila,
theres A LOT of thing that i regret in life personally
things that should be and can be,but we waste it,i waste i mean
i dont want you feel the despair of it too, tsk tsk T^T
so when making choices please be very careful
VERY VERY EXTRA DOUBLE CAREFUL

to hell all the negatives thing people tell u,if its your choice,its yours
because u are the one who gonna walk in that path

and of course, ask Allah for guidance
for He know what the best for us.
everything happen with a hikmah hidden behind it.
so chill,relax and pray :)

assalamualaikum

let us all start again 

FRESH 

:)

happy merry blast birthday to me :D

well,sebenarnya banyak nak cite

heee,tapi apakan daya,got not much time 

nak gi study physics plak ni , pfffffftttt

so thanks to all those people that make my birthday such a speacial day :')

love u guys much 

thanks to my super five for the surprise birthday party

:)

 credit to fatin,echa and ash yang bersusah payah setup semua ni :') terharu keeeyyy

 cake are nice, sweeet sweeet

 life in penang wouldnt be the same without all of you :)

kami birthday girl

we are meant to be kan fara, birthday pun nak same je , heee 

 baby baby it just soooo  sweeeet :'*

 thanks for the present guys , heee

 auu auuu, bleyh hang dalam bilik lah nanti, :D

 have to credit makcik sebab tolong buat kan ni :') lip lap lip lap 

to farah,

dear,thanks for everything, banyak dah kite go through together kan kan :')

yes,i always consider you as my soul mate :D the one that always being with me ,

 walau nak gi toilet 5 minit je, 

thanks for u know that i always needed u the most :')

 and and and ! power point tu sumpah sweeet :') im speechless, fara kalau sweet sweet ni memang expert kan

pengggoda berjaya :D heee

 tsk tsssk, fara :') i ni dah terlebih gula tau tak fara,

owh, bangga dapat jadi your super girl :D heee, i will always be there to infinity and beyond ~ 

 and thanks to ahmad faaaaghhhiiiizzz omey omey ni sebab sanggup datang penang buat surprise :')

owh owh, memang terkezut,trimo kasih awok :D heee

sumpah terharu :') auuu auuu 

lagi sweeet dari eskrem ni tau dop,

<3

 ok,this is cute~ haha~ budak laki kelas aku bagi ubat ni kat aku,they know my biggest secret -.-

 ye,setiap hari aku akan pergi unit kesihatan amek ubat ni~ sebab sedaaaap wooo :D

 and i can be sure that it is safe , sebab ni hudson punya gula gula je ni~ eheh

 this is FIA ~ :) chomel kan kan kan 

thanks to fara :D

2 teman tidoq baru :D 

this is, ahhh

baru perasan tak nama kan lagi, -.- 

telinga dia boleyh buat cover mata sepet , eheeehh

and yeaah, 

thanks all for the wishes and everything

yang message,yang post, yang call, :")

u all make me feel 'important' :b

and ema ngan mirah

grrrrr

dua orang ni yang lupa birthday aku ni

nanti cuti belanja aku sebagai belasan,kalau tak aku ngaaajuuuu tau dop , huh

hahaha

tapi walau lambat wish,aku tetap hargai, especially ur video ema 

i love the 'i love u mmmmuuuaaaah' part

nose bleeding tengok :b

thanks ma :')

and tak sabar nak balik balik balik

nak sambut dengan family pulaaaakkksss :D

have some pride

pernah satu hari i have one,well i can consider serious conversation with my mom

discussing about relationship ehem ehem 

HAHAHA

so yeaahh,we talked a LOT about it

and one of it is about kipping it as personal

its personal and private okay so,keep it as it is

punca mak cakap macam ni sebab,yeaaaahh

she is an active facebook user,

and she always complaining about muda mudi yang post jiwang jiwang stuff on facebook

yeaaahh,,macam tak malu sangat sangat

and she also told me ade yang tukar relationship status setiap hari with different guys -.-

and terus cakap,,well kakak,dont be one of them

aye aye captain,what more can i say ;P 

so yeaaaahhh,,thats why i never post jiwang jiwang thing on my wall except for some love songs 

HAHAHA

because im afraid my mom and father will comment thing that,well,-.-

and it is AWKWARD to know that my mom and father is reading 

im expressing my love to somebody -.- wooooo,,awkward lvl 100

HAHAHA

so let the private stuff remain as private

alah,sekarang ade phone and thing,used it,beli mahal mahal bukan nak buat hiasan kan 

and for me,its okay to contact your love one using facebook as it cheaper maybe 

tayah beli kredit -.- HAHAHA

but kalau nak yang kat wall tu,let it be a normal conversation 

dont have to sayang sayang mucuk mucuk kannn,buat orang lain jeles je HAHAHA

well,memang la kadang-kadang aku macam auuuuuuu

nak buat camtu jugak,its seems sweet 

and macam orang tu betul betul besungguh sungguh ni kan,sanggup tulis atas wall bagai madah madah la kannnn,,and buat relationship status tu,macam bagus la kan,macam yeaaah,boleyh cakap kat other girls,

"kau nampak tak relationship status dia tu,hes mine,back off babes"

maybe feeling more secure, well i sure don't know,this is my opinion,yeaaah,,aku kalau buat macam tu maksudnya aku niat semua benda kat atas ni la kan~ HAHAHAHA

and i think other people think just like me,because aku penah ade satu conversation dengan kawan aku,

she told me her boyfriend tanak approve permintaan relationship status yang dia request,and she thinks that that guy is cheating on her,yeaaah,why he doesnt want to make relationship status with me unless he wanted to cheat, 

and maybe they think that wow,this man is so mahahahacho

sanggup confess hes feeling towards the girl in public

well i do think like that sometimes

yeaaaah,,seriously,everytime HAHAHA

ingat lagi tyme aku form 4 and sekolah aku tiap tiap pagi ade brainstorming slot

and ade sorang senior ni confess mase brainstorming tu I LOVE U kat awek dia,which never had been done before,and will never be repeated by others too,i think,sebab lepas tu kena tindakan discipline ke ape tak tahu la kannn -.-

but for me,its still so macho, bro u ROCKS ! HAHAHA

but for me,i dont know, i dont make relationship status with my am am but i dont want to cheat on him and i have faith,that he wont too,well i hope I HOPE 

well i know,i understand,being in relationship makes u paranoid a little bit,always overthink things

semua orang pun,i dont know about guys,but all girls are

lambat reply text pun dah fikir,OMG, dia dah ignore aku,dia benci aku,dia dah bohsan dengan aku

and cry without knowing the real thing,padahal laki tu habis kredit 

pfffftt,seriously,girls are pathetic ~ well i am pathetic -.- 

but thats normal,thats mean that u are in to him,hell yeaah

and i have that feeling of malu nyaaa kalau tak last relationship ni kan

sebab what u expect from a relationship kan ? even marriage pun bercerai kann

inikan cinta muka buku ahaks

and yeaaah,senior aku yang aku mentioned kat atas tu,he is no longer with that girl,

see what i mean,kan dah timbulkan speculation,people will say.

"heck,dulu bersungguh sungguh,putus jugak,,ppffftttt,,LOSER "

yeaaah,same la kalau kat facebook or blog or twitter

kalau post bagai nak mampus,i LOVE u kita mati pun sama sama hantu I akan kejar u sampai u ikut mati dengan i,and i will never cheat on u and bla bla LOVE u bla bla bla bagai kannn

pastu tak sampai seminggu clash~ -.- 

FOR GOD SAKE,thats a fail

baiklah yang low profile,and kekal sampai la kawin dapat anak cucu mati DONE

boleyh nak bagitahu orang pun kan,bagi tahu kawan-kawan,mak ayah,bagi tahu bagitahu,

tu pun dah nampak bersungguh sungguh dah sebenarnya

okay,so consider what u do 

well it feels so wrong for me to write about this

sebab i makes a lot of stupid thing on the internet -.- shame on me

tapi sebab conversation yang bermakna dengan mak aku tu buat aku nak tulis jugak

bagi aku the most important thing kalau nak relationship ni bukan nya heboh satu dunia cukup dengan ikhlas kerana Allah,boley sampai ke syurga,dapat rahmat,hubungan diberkati,what,betul la kan,dont do stupid thing,and save something nanti nak kawen tu,ni sebelum kawin dah buat semuanya,dating la,amek gambar la,tour malaysia laa,tengok muka hari hari,lepas kawen nak buat ape,bohsan dah tyme tu,-.- tade thrill owwwhhhh,,

ma aku cakap,nak bercinta tu boleyh,

fitrah fitrah,tapi jangan buat benda yang tak patut

sekadar keep in touch,bukan mengarut merapu

HAHAHHA

senang cite,kawen je lah cepat-cepat,tayah tanggung dosa dah gatal sangat kan,dapat pahala lagi,,

and aku rase aku tade lah tahap gatal sangat kan,

gedik siket je,kalau nak bertunang tu dah boleyh la kire~ WAHAHAHA

ape ape pon,,

wallahuallam bissawab ;D

p/s : malu sebenarnya nak buat post ni,sebab aku nampak matured sangat hehehehe

       and i know people will judge me sebab post ni macam sokong couple bagaikan,aku tak maksud kan langsung tu,its not good,,but also not that bad if u can handle it wisely,know ur limits,well 

HATERS GONNA HATES ;)

;)

And you ask me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

And desire and love and empty things

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words

And sing out loud

Cuz everyone is forgiven now

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live

And something only you can give

And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive

And the one poor child that saved this world

And there's 10 million more who probably could

If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words

And sing out loud

Cuz everyone is forgiven now

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight

And somehow stop this endless fight

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words

And sing out loud

Cuz everyone is forgiven now

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

this is musics,this is lyrics

=]

saya maryam jamilah

ye,,saya hanya seorang hamba ALLAH yang bernama MARYAM JAMILAH BINTI ZAIDI~

ive done a lot of mistake in my life

ive gone through a lot to make me who i am today~

and i thank to god that until today i was given chances to breath to walk and to talk

to perform what human should

to pray and raise my hand asking for forgiveness and barakah in live

nothing else matter actually for what we had been made is to sujud to dear god almighty 

but we all just human

we forgot we denied we hate we questions

what are the reasons god make us

from the dirt and dust 

"We created man from sounding clay, from mud moulded into shape..." (15:26).

"Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia (Adam) dari tanah liat kering (yang berasal) dari lumpur hitam yang diberi bentuk". (QS. Al Hijr (15) : 26)

yup~ Allah created all of us for a reason~

after Allah created the universe ~ the earth,the sun,the mountain,the sky,the everything la senang cite kann,,

He created malaikat,,makhluk yang mana diciptakan untuk beribadah menjadi perantara antara Zat Yang Maha Kuasa dengan hamba-hamba Nya terutamanya para rasul dan nabi-nabiNya~

selepas ituuu~ Allah nak cipta sejenis makhluk lain yang mana nak mengisi bumi,,enjoy all the forest,mountain and the sea~ yeaaahhh!!

ye~ makhluk tu adalah kite~ anak cucu Adam dan Hawa

yang mana telah dibangkang dulu kewujudan kita oleh malaikat yang khuatir~

tapi ye~ Allah Maha mengetahui

 “Aku mengetahui apa yang kamu tidak ketahui dan Aku sendirilah yang mengetahui hikmat penguasaan Bani Adam atas bumi-Ku. Bila Aku telah menciptakannya dan meniupkan roh kepadanya, besujudlah kamu di hadapan makhluk baru itu sebab penghormatan dan bukan sebagai sujud ibadah, kerana Allah s.w.t. melarang hambahNya beribadah kepada sesama makhluk-Nya.

dan tadaaaa~ kite semua hidup sekarang~ bernafas atas ehsan oxygen dari Yang Maha Kuasa

ummmm,,yes~ it is time for all of us to muhasabah diri

sila lah sedar diri sedikit~ kite menumpang kite hamba kite lalai

muhasabah balik diri kita~ ape tujuan Allah cipta kat dunia ni
sengaja untk lalai berseronok ke ?
pikir balik ape cita-cita kita ?
nak jadi engineer ke,doktor ke,,cikgu ke ?
ke nak jadi anak soleh dan solehah,,hamba yang taat pada Allah,, ?
atau kedua-duanya?
tepuk dada tanya iman =)

and yes!!
its Ramadhan~
perfect time for all of us nak muhasabah diri

bulan mulia~ bulan khas untuk umat manusia untuk mencari keredhaan dari Nya

bulan berganda~ yee~ amalan kite dapat pahala berganda insyaAllah dan juga nafsu jugak berganda yaaawww~ jangan tipu~ anda pergi bazar ramadhan mesti nak beli semua kan kan~ hehe

well,,same lah kite~ hoho,,nafsu nak tido pon bertambah hebat~ ummm,,yang tu kalau tak puasa pon tetap ade sebenarnya -.-

i LOVE ramadhan~

ramadhan for me is the month yang mane aku selalu ternanti-nanti

sememangnya terase rindu akan ramadhan =')

i even enjoy ramadhan more than hari raya

mak ayah aku memang bagus~

dia dah ajar anak-anak dia pergi semayang terawih sejak kecil lagi

bile besar tak pergi terawih rase cam berdosa~ -.-

rase cam ,,eyh eyh ni bulan puasa ke ape ni

rase cam tak lengkap

tahun-tahun sebelum ni selalu nya tarawih bersama ustaz Ibrahim kat sekolah

atau semayang dekat masjid depan rumah 

tapi tahun ni lain sikit~ semayang dekat PI dengan kawan-kawan

kat sini semayang terawih 8 rakaat je kalau nak dibandingkan dengan kat umah 23 rakaat

tapi bacaan imam best ,, semayang pun jadi khusyuk walau tepaksa semayang tepi tangga sebab limpah

hari first jelah~ hari ke 3 dah start kurang amat~ amat-amat berkurang =/

well,,papepun~ insyaAllah semua sila lah berpanyakkan amalan

jom kita kejar malam lailatul qadar 

istiqamah lah segala amalan yang kita buat bulan ni di bulan-bulan lain jugak~

tapi terasa amat sedih ='(

teringat akan teman-teman satu sekolah dulu

dah terbiasa puasa dengan meraka

teringat tadarus dengan ema dan mirah petang-petang

setiap tahun Alhamdulillah sempat habis kan satu Alquran

tahun ni InsyaAllah berjaya jugak anda juga ema dan mirah terchenta~ 

amiiiiiinnnnn =')

Tuhan dengarkan aku
Ku memohon kepadaMu
Kuangkat tanganku
Kulafaskan lidahku
Menyebut namaMu Tuhan

Tuhan lihatlah aku
Kuberserah kepadaMu
Kuletakkan keningku bersujud padaMu
Ampuni dosa-dosaku

Tuhanku jangan ambil nyawaku
Sebelum ku dekat denganMu
Tuhanku siapkan duniaku
‘Tuk nanti tiba akhiratku

Berapa nikmat yang t’lah Kau beri
Berapa yang t’lah aku ingkari
Masih pantaskah sujudku padaMu
Aku malu aku malu….